And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
I love carmex ❤️❤️❤️
the 2001 oscars are real and this happened in real life. this is something mankind should never forget.
there’s a boy at my school who keeps speaking in doge and asking me to suck his dick but on a completely related note, im dropping out
sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i to diss a bee
i travel the world and the seven bees
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
talking to very republican teenagers is so surreal
It must be strange for you to see teenagers who don’t blindly follow their liberal parents, or their liberal teachers, or the liberal media, or liberal celebrities, or liberal musicians, or liberals on the internet.